I’m answering a great question from some of you with my own perspective on the matter so far as a pregnant professionally ambitious woman.
I receive a message from an great woman I know through IG asking what were my thoughts on this subject since I am pregnant and working in tech. She started by sharing the following quote from the book Women in tech by Tarah wheeler:
Family chapter: “Children will interrupt your career plans. If you want to have them, go for it, but understand that doing so will incur a penalty on your career time-line. Your are choosing to spend time with your children instead of your career, and it really not possible to have it all. “
I kindly disagree, based on my own experiences but mostly based on what I have seen in women around me that I admire, so I am here to tell you YOU CAN HAVE ALL YOU WANT to!
Not what others expect from you or even what you used to expect from yourself. So you have to be very honest, conscious and self aware to truly understand what is it that you want.
The whole objective of equal opportunities is for all of us to be able to have a free choice about what we want to do with our lives! not to follow anyones expectations or norms.
So far, I have heard:
” I don’t want to stop my career..”
“I don’t want to be like my mom, who was a housewife and was the best mother ever but I could tell she was not happy or full-filled”
“I don’t want to be an absent mother who needs to hire a nanny 24/7 to take care of my children for me.. “
Which actually should be turned into:
“I want my career to keep growing and developing”
“I want to be happy and full-filled.”
“I want to be a present good parent”
You see how everything changes ? from focusing on what you Don’t want.. to focusing on what you DO WANT , it all seems much more achievable.
Because having a career and being a good parent are not mutually exclusive. The same way that if you suddenly want to and can afford turning into a full-time parent and stop your career growth , you have to know that you are allowed to, the point of all movements searching for equality is for us to be able to choose freely, so lets not turn these movements into forcing all women to choose one same thing.
The same for men, gender equality fights for men to also be able to have that possibility to choose, if they want to and can afford to as a family.
This is about people having the same opportunities to choose what they want disregarding of their gender, race, nationality, etc.
What do you think? Please let me know on the comments.